


failure.

by Evedawalrus



Category: Age of Ultron - Fandom, Avengers, Iron Man - Fandom
Genre: AOU spoilers, Age of Ultron spoilers, Alcohol, Sadness, Tears, Tony alone, agh so many feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2015-05-05
Packaged: 2018-03-29 03:08:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3879946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evedawalrus/pseuds/Evedawalrus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was is will be his fault. </p>
<p>It always is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	failure.

**Author's Note:**

> AOU spoilers! Poor, poor Tony.

He is a failure.

 

A malfunction. A mistake.

 

Yeah, a mistake. After all, that's what mistakes do.

 

Make even more.

 

His throat burns as he stumbles inside. The pressure in his head triples, and he feels sick.

 

"Jarvis-" He stops, dry lips pausing. No, not Jarvis. No Jarvis. Not anymore. Never again. But that voice -those eyes, looking at him for one, singular moment like he was everything, absolutely everything- not here.

 

"I am not Jarvis."

 

He heard nothing else.

 

Him. Growling but dulcet tones, so sweet and sharp like a malevolent rose that was choking him.

 

His fault, all his fault.

 

Always.

 

He needs alcohol.

 

Stumbling to the bar -empty- gulping down shot after shot -fucking forget already- waiting and waiting and waiting.

 

Words swim through his empty head.

 

-monster-merchant-him-language-fighting-blue-red-shield-dead-space-failure-mistake-

 

The bottle crashes to the ground. He does not care. Money does not matter anymore.

His head hurts.

 

Their pupils are full.

 

Of what, he cannot see.

 

His fault, his fault.

 

Those -red- eyes, hatred and scorn, he is not like that monster, do not compare me to him

 

He always hides.

 

They look at him with hatred burning in their eyes. They always will.

 

Alwaysalwaysalways

 

Bile and stomach acid burn at his throat. Regret and misery spill from his mouth to the floor.

 

Green. Calm voices and quiet whispers and support and glasses of water-

 

Gone.

 

God, he is such an idiot.

 

He didn't bother to give a shit about him, to caught up in his decisions that were slowly crushing him. He did not notice, he made a mistake. He has made so, so many mistakes. So many.

 

He won't be talking to him for a while.

 

It is what he deserves.

 

They look at him with blame and scorn, he did it why did he do it why oh why oh-

 

Then he sees the shield again.

 

The shield has failed him.

 

Science, rules, everything he knows and loves and lives by has failed- no.

 

He has failed them he has failed and they have paid they have always paid his fault his fault

 

His death looms over him as the demons fly through. They do not kill him, no matter that he wishes it. They want him to suffer.

 

He suffers.

 

The worries slip in so slowly and take hold and he is brain-dead he has no mind he will not fail no not this time

 

He always has failed.

  
  


He is a oil-stained cloth, wet with salty tears and screams left on the ground alone stepped on worth nothing absolutely nothing

 

They look upon him with hatred that he knows he deserves.

 

They are gone and he has destroyed them.

 

She is coming tomorrow. Pepper? 

 

No.

 

He will fail her too.

 

It was is will be his fault, always his fault.

 

He will destroy her like has everything else.

 

He is a mistake that makes more.

  
His father was right.


End file.
